The following is a guest blog post by Valerie Hulme. Take time to read Valerie’s amazing thoughts on her recent trip to Ft. Liberte with FFL.
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29 of us returned last night from a trip to Ft. Liberte, Haiti. It was my 5th trip and I’m always surprised(although I probably shouldn’t be by now) how much God shows me each time I go. Even though I was returning to a place I have become more familiar with each time I go, I wasn’t sure what we would find on this trip. It was my first trip since the January earthquake. What I expected to find was more people with more needs. And while we did see the need that is always there and a lot of people who had come to Ft. Liberte after the earthquake with nothing, this is not what I will remember finding. What I will remember finding is hope.
We got to see the money that was donated through Friends of Ft. Liberte to earthquake relief in use on different occasions on this trip. I could write 100 pages of examples of the hope I saw in my Haitian friends, but one of the experiences of this trip that impacted me the most was getting to see the food distribution to earthquake victims who had come to Ft. Liberte. I remember standing off to the side in the courtyard of the school watching families receive bags of food. I watched as an older lady slowly carried a large bag through the courtyard. Her eyes were fixed on the sky and she had a hand raised. I recognized a little bit of the Creole she was speaking as she crossed the yard. She kept repeating “mesi Bondye, mesi Bondye(thank you God).” This is a lady who probably had very close to nothing and here she was not complaining about what she lacked(which unfortunately is what I would probably be doing), but thanking God for what He was providing. I caught a small glimpse at that moment of the day that the need in Haiti will be overwhelmed by the hope of its beautiful people.
That day I was wearing a shirt with the words ‘I need Africa more than Africa needs me.’ If you’ve spent more than 5 minutes with me the last 2 years, you know how much I have been affected by my trip to Uganda. God reminded me on this trip to Ft. Liberte how much of my heart is still in Haiti and with the people there I love so much. John told me that he had a shirt made that said ‘I need Haiti more than Haiti needs me.’ Later that day I was reading the inside of my shirt that explains what is written on the outside. It reminded me of John’s shirt and when I read it again, where it said Africa I replaced it with Haiti. I think it fits perfectly what we see when we go to Haiti. The words from the shirt are written below.
When I think of Haiti, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. “I am needed here,” I think. “They have so little, and I have so much.” It’s true, there are great tragedies playing out in Haiti everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Haitians face with the joy I see in those same people. It’s a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day.
The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Haiti I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign.
My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I’m ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I’m forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I’m uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the “next thing” to have joy.
I’m not saying that Haiti does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I’ve come to understand that I NEED HAITI MORE THAN HAITI NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Haiti that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I’ve learned that I don’t need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of Haiti’s many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I’ve found that I have so much to learn, and Haiti, with all its need, has much to teach me.
